Good evening, and welcome to this week's Retrospective. There has been little brought to my attention this week that I have deemed fit to report, so either my standards are becoming impossible or it's just something of a slow news week.
Well, it's almost All Hallow's Eve. I should not be surprised by a few more zombie walks and the like.
But let us begin. And the big news this week?
Stop the presses - Muammar Gadaffi (or however our (deceased) glorious leader wished it spelt) is dead. This paves the way for Islamic law to play a greater role in Libya to the point of another Islamic Republic, and further cements the leading position of the Islamists as they win elections in Tunisia and gear up for the Egyptian elections. Democracy is certainly compatible with Islam. Just like communism, you know. It's perfect when everyone chooses right, now isn't it?
Moving up to the EU, the British PM has demonstrated that he has no common sense, and has faced down a good chunk of his party ignoring him and voting for a referendum on the EU. More democracy in Westminster probably won't help much if this is the sort of representation that occurs.
But in a rare attack of common sense on the part of EU ministers, revisions to the Schengen Agreement are being considered, including the limited reestablishment of border controls. This is probably in response to the refugee crisis that developed in Italy over the past year.
Remaining in the EU, with yet another attack of common sense, a Frenchman has been acquitted of racial incitement after burning a Koran. Had he burned a Bible or a copy of Battlefield Earth, this wouldn't have even gone to trial. I guess even the French know when not to surrender. And to stand up.
Moving on to China, it is now becoming apparent that the One Child Policy, while successful in its aim of reducing China's population growth, has had the unintended side effect of possibly breaking society by producing a generation of narcissists. There was, of course, another option, namely space colonisation, but of course, being somewhat communist, I'm not sure they care about that.
And coming home to Australia, it has been reported that high levels of trust in local government means that they are the most corrupt level of government in the country. And people want to replace the states with these guys?
In Sydney, an Occupy Sydney protestor attempts articulation. I would suggest she might be better served to sit in on basic English considering just how cringe-worthy her statement was. (For the record, a human being and a person are synonymous in common usage).
Also, the Commonwealth Heads of Government meeting has been addressed by Her Majesty the Queen, who has urged bold reforms to be undertaken to ensure that the Commonwealth remains a relevant body in the modern world. One should hope she might one day have a British PM who agrees.
And now, in two points of curious interest, Prince Charles has revealed a blood relation between himself and the infamous Vlad Tepes (the Impaler), the inspiration behind the famous vampire Dracula. All things considered, I'd hope that blood might come through a bit more soon.
And in an act of "Why bother?", it has been revealed that American soldiers are being told to eat, urinate, sleep and otherwise orient themselves with regards to the position of Mecca, so as not to inflame Muslim opinion. Given that we're dealing with the Koran (sorry, Holy Quran, general) with the same level of respect that we give our regimental colours, I have to wonder how much further we have to go before we get to the bottom of that particularly odious barrel of stupidity.
And that is the end of the news.
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